I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you

Ok, in just a few days my world has been turned on its head not once, but twice.
Shortly after Quirky confessed his secret to the rest of the party, I began to calm myself a little. It took all the strength I had left, but I felt like I had to. As my head cleared some, things started falling in place. I realized that the gargoyle that had attacked me had been the same one that Quirky had told me about that night we were playing that game with each other. The one he'd raised, and said he had to let go.
I was suddenly struck with this horrible guilt. That terrifying creature had probably been Quirky's only semblance of family, and he had killed it because it had threatened me. Because I had been too dimwitted to just dodge. If I learned one thing from the badgers that taught me, it was dodge and gain the upper hand. How could I have been so careless? I let my emotions get the better of me, and I could have died because of it.
At that point, I was feeling pretty bad. I was wishing Quirky had just let her kill me. Then I wouldn't be in so much pain, and he wouldn't have had to make a choice like that. I had to tell him how sorry I was, but part of me was afraid he wouldn't even want me near him. I could hear him singing a song in elvish. It broke my heart to hear such pain in his voice. I had to try, so I waited an hour and then wandered off after him, telling the others I didn't want to be followed.
I found Quirky standing with his back to me. There was a grave stone there for
Grayle. I don't think anyone could have said anything nice about a gargoyle, but if it was possible, Quirky pulled it off. I called to him, and there was no response. I fell to my knees and bowed my head. I wasn't sure I wanted to see what look was on his face when he turned around. I called to him again and he appeared, on his knees as well, in front of me.
I begged him to forgive me. I had never wanted that to happen. I hadn't meant to cause him such pain. It was all my fault, and I had truly never felt so sorry. I would understand if he wanted me to just leave him alone. He didn't.
Quirky apologized to me, and said while he wished it could have gone any other way, he wouldn't have wanted me to die up there. I was grateful for that, but still felt the pain of his earlier confession. Something had been nagging me since I started questioning him earlier, but Grayle had interrupted before I could get my answer.
I told Quirky I needed him to be honest with me. I had to be able to piece my heart back together, but I couldn't do it if he was just going to be springing more secrets on me later. I begged him to tell me everything, and hold nothing back. In the hour I waited for him, I had decided I would forgive him everything. I loved him, and I didn't want to stop just because of his past. All I asked was that he get it all over with at once.
Then, Quirky noticed Grumble was spying on us. I could have strangled him. I realize he cares for me, but the dwarf has no sense of respect or privacy. Like Quirky meant me any harm! I swear, he should just sit down and think before acting for once. It would really help. Quirky managed to get us about 20 minutes of alone time, and Grumble sulked off with a wary look towards Quirky. Then we got back to the business at hand.
He asked me why I fell in love with him. I told him, and he asked if that all would have been the case if he had been any other race. I was a little stunned. That's one of those things that no one can know the answer to, though I know some Gnomes who set their lives to trying to do just that. I told Quirky I could never be sure what kind of difference that would have made, just that things had gone the way they'd gone and I was in love with him because of that.
It turns out, Quirky is a shape shifter, not a real gnome. Heh. I suppose I should have guessed, maybe, I don't know. For some reason, though, that hardly upset me. It hurt so much less than finding out he had been sent to kill me. I laughed. Out of all the things I had been preparing myself to hear, that was easy to forgive. He said that was pretty much the only remaining thing he hadn't told me. What a relief. So I forgave him. "Roywyn Ellybelle Badger Goodlock Turen," he said. "I love you." If I could only have one moment to relive, I think it might be that one. I have never been more fond of hearing any of my names than I was in that moment.
Then I realized that part of the pain in my gut was not all due to heartbreak, but to the bleeding clawmarks Grayle had left in me. Quirky put his hand on my stomach and healed me, then pulled me close to him. I could have happily sat there like that for a king's age, but I knew the others would start to worry so we grudgingly returned to camp.
I tried to find sleep after that, but I only found nightmares instead. Grayle's horrible face and penetrating eyes burning into me, up on that branch. Accusing me of stealing Quirky from her, digging her claws into me. I woke in a cold sweat having tried to scream in my sleep, every night we were on the road. We ended up stopping off in Brendensford. It seems the outlying villages of the barony were being burned to the ground, all the people massacred. The baron requested our help, and we agreed.
The night before we set out, we stayed in an inn in town. After everyone else had gone to bed, Quirky and I sat up drinking and talking. I wanted so badly to kiss him, or for him to kiss me, but I didn't want to be forward about it. I'm no good at this love thing. If my friends had been there they would have laughed to see me so afflicted. I just couldn't think of anything to do, so I tried batting my eyelashes and moving in a little closer, but it didn't work. Gods, how awkward! I had also been looking forward to maybe sharing a bed with him, but again I was a little loath to say anything. So I mentioned the fact we had gotten so many rooms, and Quirky mentioned his was less than satisfactory. I don't know why I didn't immediately jump at that excuse, but I think the drinks were maybe fogging my thoughts...
Either way, we finally decided he should stay with me in mine. He went to get his things, and I went to change. I was so excited but so nervous! I dug through my bag until I found my nightgown. I usually just sleep in my tunic, but, well, circumstances being what they were, I figured something nicer was in order. Thankfully I had packed it! I'm not sure I ever figured I would use it, but I'm glad I brought it. Quirky knocked and I had to stop from flying to the door. He came in and sat down by the fire. He looked nervous. I sat next to him and all I could think was "Gods! Kiss him, Badger! What are you waiting for???" I just couldn't do it. I've never kissed anyone before. I was afraid to miss, or be terrible at it. I know I embarrass myself regularly in front of Quirky, but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to make a move. After a moment, I gave up and decided to just try for some sleep. Maybe I'd have more courage in the morning. As I turned to go, Quirky grabbed my hand and pulled me back to face him, pulling my face into his shoulder. It hurt, but it was so funny. Quirky looked upset, but far be it from ME to hold clumsiness against anyone else! I let him have his second chance, and he managed to kiss me that time. I could have died a happy, happy gnome in that moment.
Quirky mentioned that he really didn't feel like sleeping in the wardrobe, and I was glad, because I didn't want him there, either. Then I realized what was probably going to happen next, and I had to admit to Quirky that I had never...um...yeah...
Turns out, he hadn't either, but since when has that ever stopped anyone? Let's just say that despite everything, Quirky managed to succeed at making me forget everything that had been said between us, and anything else that didn't belong in that moment. For the first night in a long while, I had no nightmares, and slept like I hadn't slept my whole life. Waking up next to him the next morning was yet another one of those moments I would like to pick to relive for all of eternity. Well, maybe I should extend that to include all of that previous night, as well!
We came downstairs separately that morning in an attempt to make it look like nothing out of the ordinary had happened that night. I wonder if anyone was fooled? Grumble must have been, because I think he would have hit the roof otherwise.
I don't think I would have cared if he had, though. I think I am well on my way to putting my heart back together. I hope that Quirky will always be by my side, because in this moment, I can't actually believe my life was real before I met him. He may not actually be a gnome, or a cleric, but I don't care. It has been made clear to me on many occasions that my life was never meant to be the same as other gnomes. I think Elder Glitterheart knew that when he gave me my special name that night back home.
"I give to you the name Lunhedia," he smiled at me. "Beloved Mystery. You were meant for something many gnomes will never dream of, and I know someday you will figure out just what that is. Until then, you are the precious mystery in the hearts of all who love you."
I wonder if he knew just how strange my life would become after I left home?